by Juliette Sivertsen
Your engagement is an exciting time, mixed with uncertainty about how to plan a wedding and what to expect in the months leading up to your big day.
Here are five things newly engaged couple need to know about planning a wedding:
1. START PLANNING EARLY - TOGETHER
Many vendors are booked out months - sometimes years - in advance, especially New Zealand wedding photographers and venues. Your best bet for securing your favourite wedding artists is to starting planning and making bookings as early as possible.
Remember that this wedding is about the TWO of you as a couple, not just the bride. Some grooms prefer to take a back seat approach to wedding planning - that’s fine, but make sure you are still providing support to your fiancée if she is carrying most of the wedding planning weight.
2. KEEP IT IN PERSPECTIVE
Weddings are wonderful occasions but remember, the wedding itself is only the first day of your marriage.
Your wedding day should be special and you will treasure the memories of that day for the rest of your life, but don’t forget about your marriage.
You don’t have to buy into the idea that it’s going to be the happiest day of your life - because your life together has many more exciting moments AFTER the wedding! Whether it is travel, children, career accomplishments, or maybe a significant wedding anniversary, your wedding day is only the start of your marriage. Enjoy the celebration then look forward to even greater times ahead.
3. MAKE QUALITY TIME FOR EACH OTHER
Make time to hang out and have a wedding-free zone. You can return to planning the next day. Turn the cellphones off. Go the movies. Have a date night at home - do what you did at the start of your relationship when you were dating.
Quality time is a chance to appreciate each other’s company and to remember why you’re getting married. It’s also a chance to remember WHO you’re marrying - your best friend.
4. EXPECT SOMETHING TO GO WRONG - AND BE COOL WITH THAT
Even the most well-thought out plans can go pear shaped due to outside influences. A family member may fall ill, stress at work may increase, your wedding photographers have had to suddenly pull out or perhaps your budget has blown out spectacularly. Be prepared for hiccups along the way - and be cool with that. Worry only adds to the tension and is an unproductive emotion! Channel any negative energy into something creative and positive.
5. CONSIDER A MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSE
Find a marriage preparation course or try pre-marital counselling for a stronger marriage. Every couple will face challenges in their marriage so what better way to prepare for this journey than equipping yourself with tools and strategies to communicate more effectively?
Don’t wait until things get challenging in your marriage before you choose to address them - take proactive measures before your wedding day to build better communication and understand your expectations of each other after the big day.